Not too long ago, our pastor announced that he felt God calling him back to another state (about 1000 miles away from us). He said it would not happen immediately but would be in a year or more, and he wanted to be open and honest with us about it. This might not be too big a deal for many churches, but our church is a house church with 13 members at this time, so the pastor leaving feels like the end of it all. To make matters worse, a few of us said that they would go with him, leaving the rest of us feeling even more left behind.

My wife and I experienced feelings of hurt and loss since we are among those who would not make the move. As the feelings of hurt and loss stirred, an anger also rose up, and our thoughts turned antagonistic toward our pastor. After all, he was betraying us, was he not?! Thankfully, we were mature enough to recognize ungodly thoughts, and we corrected our hearts through right thinking. If God is moving our pastor away from us, then he has a plan for us right here where we are, and there is nothing to fear or be angry about. We began to pray for the team that would be moving away, and for guidance on our next steps.

One of the things that came to mind during all of this, which reinforced the reasons to not be angry and to trust God through it all, was that our pastor is not just our teacher, he is our friend. When I am sick, he calls me and checks in on me. When I have a struggle with sin, he is there with me pushing me through it. When I suffered the loss of my sister and my father in the same month, he called me frequently to check on me and make sure I was ok. Our pastor knows each one of us, he knows our strengths and weaknesses, our hurts and our triggers, our sin and our righteousness, our past and our present, and he obviously cares for us. He lifts us up in prayer every day. He is truly a shepherd who closely watches over his flock with diligence and care (John 10:11-16, 1 Thes 2:7-12).

I have been very blessed because I have been shepherded before, while at Christian Challenge at the University of Southern California and at Berean Church in Rochester, MN. However, I do not believe very many others have experienced true shepherding. A while back, I asked a close friend from my Christian Challenge days about his new church, whether his pastor was a teacher or a shepherd, and he wanted to say shepherd, but when I pressed him on how much his pastor knew his personal life, his struggles and joys, my friend had to admit that he was only a teacher and not really a shepherd. Just because your pastor knows your name does not mean he knows who you are or what is going on in your life.

The word pastor means shepherd. I do not think we have many pastors in America, especially in any larger churches. We have preachers, and some of them are such amazing teachers! We have access to the best teaching on the Bible the world has ever known! The resources we have nowadays to study scripture truly facilitate a deeper understanding of the word of God.

Yet what does it matter how good the teaching is, if we are not coached through the process of living it out? Or if our teachers are not genuinely invested in our spiritual growth? Instead of discipleship, American churches rely on worldly counseling (even Christian counselors use the same counseling methods the world does). Another good friend from my Christian Challenge days was on staff with a large church, and he was seeing a psychiatrist about his depression that arose after his parents’ divorce. I asked him if he had access to a pastor at his church, any sort of access at all, and he admitted that he did not have access to a pastor and did not even know how to get time with a pastor. What good is a church if someone on staff with a church cannot get time with a pastor?! Counseling never lead him to healing from all his wounds. What he needed was discipleship, a shepherd to guide him through his struggles and point him toward our Healer, Jesus Christ.

Large churches have no excuse. I have heard of and experienced churches trying to do discipleship in this way and that, and the results never seemed to pan out, and usually the excuse is size, that there are just too many people. But the Bible tells us exactly how to do it. Exodus 18:17-26 is where Moses’ father-in-law explains to him that he cannot lead the people alone, but must, “select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain —and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens” (Exo 18:21, NIV). Starting with hundreds of thousands of people, they did this, so even our churches with tens of thousands could do this.

This would not happen quickly, but it could be done. What this means, though, is that churches are training leaders who are able to teach and be responsible for the spiritual growth of others. Most churches appoint facilitators to guide conversations in Bible studies and home groups, but this will never produce discipleship since they are not teachers, nor are they responsible for those under them, nor are they shepherds who care for their flock (no matter what size the flock). Notice the qualifiers above: capable, fearing God, trustworthy, hating dishonest gain. To know if someone met these conditions, we would have to spend intimate time with them.

I need to mention that if more churches were doing this, they would all shrink in size. This may be one of the reasons preachers do not shepherd their parishioners. People would be forced to deal with their sin, but most people going to Christian churches today are going to be entertained or to feel a part of something, not to deal with their sin and grow closer to God. They want to be able to walk in, enjoy the show, and walk out without anyone getting in their business and disrupting what they truly love, their pleasures and comforts that distract them from God. Many of these people are lost in the comforts of life (Luke 8:14, Rev 3:15-18), many still are lost in their hurts and angers and struggles that are not being dealt with spiritually – to be treated with the healing waters of the Holy Spirit (Matt 5:22, 28, 32, 44, 6:14-15, Jam 5:16).

Now I ask you, who leads your church? Is he your personal friend and shepherd, or is he simply a teacher who stands at a distance? Do you want an engaging show with great music and an exciting teacher, or do you want to be challenged spiritually to grow closer to Christ? Do you want a comfortable community that makes you feel like you belong, or a community that is honestly dealing with sin and learning to truly love one another? For the most part, churches give the people what they want (a word of warning, Jer 5:31), so what do you want?

Blessings! – Shamar Covenant

P.S. I have a sequel to this article, with some surprising discoveries about my pastor, but they still do not change what I wrote here.